Know Your Fellow Anglers - Issue 2

As you well know, the Tournament Office has established a regular feature titled "Know Your Fellow Anglers" in which one member of the Tournament will go one-on-one with the Public Affairs committee of the tournament's Office. This friendly and frank discussion will be an in depth examination of the psyche of the anglers to provide valuable insight into the inner workings of your fellow Tournament participants. The identity of the angler will be disguised and you'll be encouraged to guess at the true identity.

Issue 2:

Considered by many to be the cheerleader of the tournament, this angler has excelled at both Bulrush Pond and Casey's Pond while teaming with other ex-Shincophants. Bringing an enthusiasm, desire and nasty smoking habit to the tournament, this angler has been heard stating "I'm here,I've got the gear, Get used to it".

While appearing jovial on the surface, in 2005 rumors regarding beating up an old man for his creel swirled around this angler like the grease rainbow on an all you can eat buffet roast beef carvery. Although vehemently denied, this blemish hangs overs this anglers product tinged head.

Stats:

2004: $342.03 Creel, 3rd Place Finish

2005: 134 fish, $405.93 creel, $3.03 average fish, 4th Place Finish

Interview:

Q1: Who do you identify with most on "The Office"

A1: Kevin. He's so misunderstood and yet lovable at the same time.

Q2: What do your bring to your team

A2: (kisses left bicep, then right, then left again) These guns.

Q3: Tell us something about yourself that might surprise others

A3: I'm a part time poet. I mostly write haiku about work related activities as a stress reliver and just a way to relax.

Q4: Could you give us an example

A4: Well, it's a little rough and needs work, but here's my latest:

VESDA Amendment

Fire Protection Sucks

Screw The Amendment

Q5: Is there something about you that is overrated?

A5: To be honest, I'm not that good at cleaning stuff. I remember this one time that filthy slob Steve D (name removed to avoid legal trouble) soiled his pretty shirt so I convinced him to cover his chest and belly with foaming window cleaner. What a hoot. Then I came back a few minutes later andtold that idiot to rub in in real good (laughs). And he did. What a dolt.

Q6: What celebrity do you most resemble?

A6: I've been using this site that lets you upload a picture and it finds a celebrity match. For some reason, the program thinks that there is a 64% match to Steven Segal and a 60% match to Rachel Bilson. This is a little screwy since I always been told by friends and those close to me that I'm a dead ringer for Bea Arthur. Not the old haggy Bea Arthur of Golden Girls, but the young, nubile Bea Arthur of Maude fame or maybe that painting in the Tate Gallery in London

Q7: What music rocks your world?

A7: Right now I've so into early ABBA that it hurts right here (clutches chest). When I hear songs like the rocking Swedish version of Waterloo or the heart-breakingly sweet Fernando I can't help but get up and dance my you-know-what off. The sweet sounds of Anni-Frid Lyngstad, the playful patter of Benny Andersson and Bjorn Ulvaeus and of course, the sexy-cool Agnetha Fattskog still speak to my inner child and soothes my battered soul. Usually I sing along to the merry sounds and end up wishing that perhaps my career choices took me in another direction (sobs).

Q8: What kind of product are you using?

A8: Thanks for noticing (strokes hair and smiles seductively). This is a home-brew recipe that I developed with the input of our safety group. About once a month, we all come together in a circle and put our ingredients in a big old pot and mix it up. We then each take a bottle and use it. It's quite fragrant and really holds well. You might ask Patrick, he uses the same stuff.

Tournament Angler Deep Sea Fishing Reported

The investigative arm of the Fair Fishing Practices Subcommittee of Tournment Office is looking into reports of a member of the Tournament fishing in the Gulf Of Mexico recently. The picture at left was discovered during a routine scan of the phone and computer files that all members of the Tournament have agreed to. The fish appears to be of a type and species not found in approved fishing waters and may be at home in the gulf of Mexico. There are unsubstantiated reports that the fish was caught during a half day deep sea fishing event from vessels ported at Hubbard's Marina in Madeira Beach, Florida.



Additional photographic evidence, as seen at right, is currently being processed by the Tournament Office to determine the angler pictured and appropriate discipline will be applied.

Event #2 Only 17 Days Away

Time flies and a glance at the calendar indicates that Event #2 on the Fox River at Batavia is only 17 days away. That's right, August 4th is almost upon us.

We'll fish the backwater area of the river just west of the Police Station. The photo at right shows the "in-bounds" area of the water.

At the request of you, the Tournament Anglers, the start time of the event has pushed back to 4:30 and will last two hours until 6:30 to allow family members and "friends" to attend to try and help those teams in need of help. All anglers are on notice to be on there best behavior as the Commissioner has returned.

There has been suggestions that pizza be ordered from The Venice Tavern.

More About The Tournament Office

Angler Question: That photo of the Tournament Office is way too adorable to be a normal kid. Has that photo been edited to enhance the cuteness and loveability of that child? Please provide us mere humans with more information about the being known as the Tournament Office.

Tournament Office Response: Excellent question, angler. These sorts of inquiries are indication of the evolving brains of your species. As a reward, in the coming weeks I'll give you several clues about the identity of the Tournament Office.

Clue One:

• The organ of sight
• L+34th President of the United States of America
• My father was a fisherman. My mama was a fisherman's friend and I was born in the boredom and the chowder. So when I reached my prime, I left my home in maritimes and headed down the turnpike for New England, sweet New England. Holes in my confidence. Holes in the knees of my jeans. I was left without a penny in my pocket. I was about as destituted as a kid could be. And I wished I wore a rings so I could hock it. I seen young girl in a parking lot preaching to a crowd, singing sacred songs and reading from the Bible. Well I told her I was lost and she told me all about the Pentecost. And I seen that girl as the road to my survival. Just later on the very same night she crept to my tent with a flashlight and my long years of innocence ended. Well she took me to the woods sayin'"Here comes somethin' and it feels so good!"And just like a dog I was befriended. Oh, what a night. Oh what a garden of delight. Even now that sweet memory lingers.I was playin' my guitar lying underneath the stars. Just thankin' the Lord for my fingers for my fingers
• (See picture below)

Know Your Fellow Anglers - Issue 1 - Answer

As many of you have already guessed, the answer to the 1st Issue of Know Your Fellow Anglers was Patrick.

Congrats to all who guessed correctly